some thoughts on 'lars and the real girl.'

a few months ago my cousin gwen asked me if i'd seen 'lars and the real girl.' 'no,' i said. 'it looks kind of silly.' she agreed it did look silly, but she said it was really good and recommended i check it out. i trust gwen, so i added it to my netflix last week just in time for it arrive in the mail on saturday.

the premise of the movie, in case you've not already heard or don't know anything about the movie is this: lars, while generally a functional member of society [he has a few friends, he's politeto people, he has a job], suffers from social anxiety, tactile emotion, and suffers from mental illness which makes him delusion.

one day a co-worker tells lars about life-size, customizable 'love dolls,' and i'm not talking about the wholesome variety, if you know what i mean. lars, fortunately, doesn't see it in that light and ends up getting one simply for companionship and the love he has to offer.

naturally things get a little awkward when 'bianca' arrives at the house, much to horror of lars' brother gus and gus' very pregnant wife, karin [played by paul schneider and emily mortimer, respectively]. as lars explains at their first dinner together, bianca is a brazilian missionary with danish blood raised by nuns and currently on sabbatical to experience the 'real world.' she also went to nursing school. oh yeah, she's also in a wheelchair. gus, of course, blames himself [you'll have to watch to find out why], while karin, on the other hand, accepts 'bianca' as part of the family as she, maybe more than anyone else, has seen lars gradually withdraw further and further into his loneliness and she'll do anything to help him.

the movie's real beauty comes from the way lars' friends and family treat him in the middle of his helpless delusion, including margot [played by a terrific kelli garner], the cute office girl who clearly has a crush on lars. i don't really want to say anymore than that because it would rob you of some of the enjoyment that comes from watching this film. i know it sounds quirky and odd and strange, and to a degree it is. but the writing is so genuinely honest, the acting so subtly superb, the direction artfully constructed, the score appropriately subdued, and film so beautifully shot, that as roger ebert said, 'only after the movie is over do you realize what a balancing act it was, what risks it took, what rewards it contains. a character says at one point that she has grown to like bianca. so, heaven help us, have we.' well said, that.

i have to say something about ryan gosling. he further cements his status as the best of his generation. he's incredible as the titular lars. he so exquisitely balances the humor and pathos of lars' unique situation, never once letting the audience feel sorry for him, but rather encouraging them to accept lars for who he is and gently rooting for him to overcome what can be such a terrible and debilitating illness. he's great, mustache and all.

in the end, 'lars and the real girl' is about treating others as they deserved to be treated, even those we see as different, odd, or strange; and that's with love, respect, and most of all, dignity.

i absolutely loved this movie. i went out and bought in monday and i'm going to beg my one or two friends to watch it with me. and a word of advice: before you sit down to watch it, make sure you have a box of kleenex handy. you'll need. i sure did.

spitcake verdict: buy it. and then watch it again. and again.